The Cosmic Flyswatter

NOTE: Scroll down to read the first of this three part blog.

Captain’s log, star date 45 25.2.

After several hours on the ground of our native planet Earth, it has become apparent to me and my crew that things are not what they seem to be. Even the names of things so familiar, in fact our own names have been altered slightly by the time warp we have sling-shotted through.

Portals into other dimensions showed themselves wherever we tread. In the asphalt beneath our feet, a factory has appeared. Mr. Schnock’s Tri-Quarter readings coupled with the ship’s TMVI (Time/Matrix Vortex Identifier) have shown it to be a wienie factory somewhere in Frankfurt, Germany on the other side of the planet. Things are, to say the least… not as they should be.

We had hoped to gain entry into a church whose distorted clock tower first appeared to be the source of our being lost in time/space. But Mr. Schnock has stated unequivocally that manipulating the clock will not help us until we identify the true TimeWarpDisrupter. And worse for us, further complicating our exit back into our own Time/Space, Lt. Voodoo, my helmsman has been captured by Bumulan convicts recently escaped from a West Hollywood Penal colony.

I am Captain John T. Cooper. Along with my first Officer Mr. Schnock and my helmsman, Mr. Voodoo, we beamed down to try and reverse ourselves from having been thrown into orbit around Earth circa 1931…

These are the voyages of the Star Ship Providence; it’s eight year mission: to seek out new life and abundance…to boldly go where men have either forgotten or are afraid to go…

And you think I’m kidding. President Slickspeak is flying around in Snake Oil One spreading benevolence and intelligence to all who are lucky enough to join him in a foolish and collapsing dream world. Meanwhile First Officer Mr. Schnock, the hapless Lt. Voodoo and myself are trying to find out the source of all the warping of reality.

…There just might be a happy ending to this drama, but before we indulge in deus ex machina in part three of this series, we need to follow the Captain and his crew into the asphalt portal where we will find ourselves in Germany before World War II. For it is here in Frankfurt that a factory was first erected for the processing of free thinking westerners into wienies…

I had myself and Schnock locked onto by the ship’s transporter, and we were beamed inside the factory. We were able to retrieve the records of the wienie formula being used on western men and women. Schnock and I escaped after knocking out two guards. We were then transported back outside the clock tower of the church in California, a province of the old Federation known as the United States of America. We were astounded at the formula:

1. The creation of racism offences.
2. Continual change to create confusion
3. The teaching of sex and homosexuality to children
4. The undermining of schools’ and teachers’ authority
5. Huge immigration to destroy identity.
6. The promotion of excessive drinking
7. Emptying of churches
8. An unreliable legal system with bias against victims of crime
9. Dependency on the state or state benefits
10. Control and dumbing down of media
11. Encouraging the breakdown of the family

We logged the formula into the Ship’s computer bank for review later. You can review the information here.

As clarifying as this information was, Mr. Schnock and I had more immediate problems. Mr. Schnock had surmised that the ship’s TMVI (Time/Matrix Vortex Identifier) might be malfunctioning. Further, he informed me that to the folks walking about us on planet earth we were most likely just a fantasy from a sixties television show. It also appeared that even though our readings had us in the time frame of 1931, Mr. Schnock’s calculations after we exited the German asphalt portal has placed us in June of the Earth year 2009.

We looked up at the clock tower. It was beginning to distort terribly and Mr. Voodoo was still missing. We decided to split up. Mr. Schnock stayed to try and gain access to the tower while I headed to West Hollywood. If we were to get back to our proper space/time frame, fantasy or not, we could not leave Voodoo behind. And Schnock was certain the clock tower would play a vital role in our success.

President Slickspeak is still flying around in Snake Oil One, too busy trampling the meanings of ordinary words and the common sense understanding of all knowledge to help us. At this very moment he is denigrating anyone who has pointed out that his appointee for Supreme Court Justice has defined herself as a racist.

We knew we would need to recruit the help of ordinary folks who have not eaten the wienies made by the Frankfurters.

We needed the help of men and women who are not so stupid as to reject reality. We need men and women who understand that there is not, and never can be, any secular substitute for the moral standard that made this nation Great and Free! Without retrieving our foundations we are condemned to follow the slick slave masters who have now come to power. Unless we stand up and reject the mini-truth pap of Platitude Meister Obama of OZ, and the expedient half-truths of O’Reilly, Medved, and all other of the Obfuscators in the media, we will drift without awareness into the wienie factories of Europe to be processed by the followers of Mohammed. They are counting on it. We are sleep walking into the unimaginable, like Jews walking into ovens they built themselves.

It can be no other way. All else is delusion. The Truth will not be denied. It can only be rejected to our own peril. Those who are middle-aged and older may escape it but the young won’t and they hardly know any better.

I left Mr. Schnock at the church tower and headed to West Hollywood to retrieve Mr. Voodoo. We need to escape this madness that is passing for ancient Earth, and we are not certain that our presence here has not in some way been responsible.

Before we leave present day Earth we will do our best to point out how and why things can be corrected for not only the present Earth, but for the future voyages of the Star Ship Providence.

Captain Cooper out.

Captain’s log star date 45 24.7. We are stuck circling our own planet Earth.

We were headed to Star Base 11 to put in for needed repairs when an encounter with ancient loose space debris from the Secular Alley of Wall Street Sector altered our course just enough to where we came within the massive gravitational pull of the Giant Red Star known as Lenin 6.

We had to reverse our warp drives to maximum, but the a sling shot effect has put us circling Earth. Only now it’s the Earth year 1931…

Mr. Spock, Mr. Sulu and I have beamed down outside a distorted clock tower. Spock thinks we may be able to run the clock backwards enough to the exact time coordinates recorded by our ship’s computer log when the time warp took place. But time is running out and we must return to the present before we damage the future…

Had enough yet? I’m just asking… Yesterday I asked a relative how he was doing with everything being as they are. His answer was “We’re fine. We are not buying this recession/depression crap!”

It was an interesting answer. A lot of folks aren’t buying it either. Let’s just leave Barak Obama out of this if we can. He is already finished unless some sort of Reality Fairy smacks him on the forehead really hard. For those who held hands and sprinkled sugar and spice all over their hope and dreams I have a message from Earth. Get over it!

Ex Nihilo Nihilo Fit. Nothing comes from nothing. Thinking other wise is what got us into this mess and continuing in this philosophical dream world will toss us off the cliff.

This, for those who are drinking Bill O’Reilly’s special secret “don’t call it Kool Aid, Kool Aid,” is precisely what the Democrats are doing wittingly. The hapless Republicans are still trying to figure out how to Out-Democrat Democrats. They’ve hired the circus act of the famous “Twittering McCain’s” to help sell their cheap second rate snake oil. For my money, I prefer Bobbies Baby Brand and their Free Radical’s Lamentable, manufactured by the Burnt Out Baby Boomer Corporation (Democrat Party). At least it’s authentic! Olberman has cases of the stuff.

But back to reality. Nothing comes from nothing. Real Wealth is not manufactured by Ponzi schemes designed to make the best of government schemes designed to take advantage of demographics for power consolidation. Smells bad just saying it.

Spock and I will do our best to get us out but first we have to clean up any traces of our being in the past. I suggest everyone steer clear of Red Giant Lenin 6 and take command of your own star ship. And don’t look for help from Star Fleet Command. They are the ones responsible. They were too busy sodomizing with Wall Streeters on our nickels. Like Bill O’Reilly “They didn’t see this coming.” So much for Harvard University. Then they figured the only answer was to hire another Harvard graduate to run Star Fleet Command. Ex Nihilo, Nihilo Fit.

So maybe we should get real. Maybe we should put hope where it belongs. Maybe we should reform and forget the “change” horse manure. Let’s admit to certain things and stop drinking snake oil. Then we can get out of this manufactured malaise which is nothing more than a money grab by international bankers and a power grab by New-Age Marxists in our government. So first let’s take responsibility for allowing this to happen, that way we can see forward.

It didn’t happen because of eight years of mismanagement. That is political rhetoric designed as a daily spoonful of snake oil. This phrase along with tax cuts for the rich are tiny truths dressed up as big truths to manipulate and dull down any grumblings that might wake us up.

Our problems started surfacing in the sixties. The present mess was set in motion in the late eighties and early nineties. The collapse was nurtured on September 18th of last year. But here is the hard part. We let them do it. It is our fault for abandoning our own lifelines and putting our trust in things that ten thousand years of wisdom have warned us against.

The good news is we can recover and turn this around in a single year if we are willing to Let the Truth Hurt! The bad news is that we are over saturated with so much cultural debris that it looks pretty bad.

Dammit Spock! I’m sick of your logic!

The first thing we need to do is ignore the doublespeak of the Ear Ticklers. This would be Gibbs in the White House and O’Reilly on television. Tune them out and you just might be able to hear the faint echoes of the Truth guiding all who are lost in a Time Warp.

Spock and I are busy working on the clock, but we will let you know about our progress tomorrow. In the mean time, exercise and eat right. The Truth is going to hurt. But we can handle it. Anyone that embraces Truth is going to be mocked and attacked by the Cling-Ons (east coast parasite class) and the Bumulans (west coast perverts.) And there are other enemies, so get ready. We will tell you more tomorrow.

Kirk out.