Greetings from the Reichstag
May 1, 2009
I don’t know what I’m eating that is different. I am still exercising. I don’t even smoke cigarettes anymore. I stay by myself mostly and I don’t entertain. No one could have slipped drugs into my food unless they managed to get it inside packaged items at Trader Joes. You can’t tell me I got something from the Eucharist. And I haven’t contracted the Mexican Flu, at least not yet, thank God.
So why am I having such terrible and vivid dreams? The only thing I can figure is that Einstein was wrong and that there is such a thing as ether, and it can and does transmit foreign substances.
The best way for me to explain this is simply relate the dream that I had last night. I was walking down the street in Pasadena, California. It wasn’t exactly day or night. The light was crepuscular (twilightish). I looked into a building window and saw the street reflected.
Then I saw a small transparent TV screen take form as it moved from within the street reflection towards me. It had text on it that I could not distinguish. It grew larger and larger until it was a giant teleprompter. Then, like a TV changing channels, it barked out flashing static until it became a picture of Barak Obama. It was a picture I had seen somewhere before, maybe on the internet.
He was holding a glass and giving a toast. He kept saying “greetings” over and over until he took a sip from his wine glass. Then he set the glass down and delivered the following speech to me in my dreams:
I want to thank all of you tonight, but I especially want to thank Tony Bennet. He has proved himself to be a true progressive and patriot for calling on all Americans to do exactly as I say…
…And I, uh, what can I say to you, the Princes of Wall Street?… Who with Great Foresight of this Great Crisis installed me as your leader in the Bundestag. Tim Geithner, Rahm Emmanuel, and all of you who are in, of, and for Wall Street, know that this Crisis can only be solved by first stopping the bleeding. I want to thank you for having prudently redistributed the wealth of our entire nation back into the international banks where it properly belongs. This Crisis is international and we are just a part of the families of nations, and you have done your part to stress this important understanding that we may effectively make true progress.
We are going to put the Federal Diet on a diet like the world has never seen. We have already started with over a trillion dollars in investment… And, uh,…let me be clear to those of you who want to call it spending. You can wave your tea bags as much as you want, but if you want to have a conversation about how we are going to solve the rising costs in health care and social security, I am challenging you to that conversation…
I have directed Janet Napoleatano and the Ministry of Truth to compile a list of your names so that we can address your grievances, personally.
Make no mistake, uh…We are going to move forward with or without those who wish to remain standing in place, biding their time with their guns and their Bibles.
We will remake Chysler and General Motors. They will be restored to their rightful place as the historic and great icons of this once proud nation. They will be streamlined into making small European cars so that we can remove forever the inclinations of Americans to do for themselves what we can do for them… Oh yes we can! No longer can we tolerate the gas guzzling trucks that allow people to indulge in personal industry at the expense of our environment. No longer can we sit by and encourage our citizens to desire V-8 powerhouses when our infrastructure and our public transportation needs rebuilding. We need Fiats. We need government fiats.
I have been asked why I have not signed the Freedom of Choice Act that I promised in my campaign. I have a lot on my plate and now is not the time to address this morally charged issue. Make no mistake, the right of a woman to choose her babies’ death is hers and hers alone! And we will get to this after we have had a chance to re-order the Supreme Court.
But tonight I want to thank a few people especially. First I want to thank John McCain for his meagerness to our great policies, and his daughter for making the Republicans become introspective, that they might reconsider and join our great efforts.
And I especially want to thank Bill O’Reilly and for that matter Michael Medved for their relentless work in characterizing as right-wing loons anyone who sees a sinister connection between Wall Street and Washington. This kind of thinking is reactionary foolishness and does nothing to assist in the progressive movement that we as a nation must embrace! Nothing could be further from our thoughts than such conspiracy theories.
Greetings from The Reichstag! Good night! And Bless America!
…I heard a clock ticking louder and louder until I saw it in my face. It was distorted. It was reflected in a window. It read 3:40. I woke up and my radio clock read 3:40 AM… I couldn’t sleep anymore so I got up.
I made coffee. Maybe I have been listening to too much talk radio. Or maybe I have been on the Internet too much. No, no…I think I have just been eating too many chili peppers. That’s got to be it! Either way, I’m going to throw out my copy of George Orwell’s 1984.
NOTE: I knew I had seen the photograph of Barak Obama before. I saw the picture above on Hot Air.